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[操作系统]关于仿网易新闻中详细页图文混排功能的实现


最近在了解关于新闻内容的图文混排的效果,网上有人开源一个仿网易新闻的代码,本文就是简单记录学习其详细页面显示的效果实现;

下载地址:https://github.com/dsxNiubility/SXNews

效果图:

其原理:通过网络请求获得相关的信息,再通过手机端进行拼HTML,然后在WebView进行展示,此处还对文章中的图片增加点击效果,可以保存到相册中;文章的样式已经存在项目中,直接去调用;

 1:首先了解两个相关的实体对象,一个是新闻的主体内容,另外一个就是图片的相关信息实体;

1:主体内容.H文件@interface SXDetailModel : NSObject/** 新闻标题 */@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *title;/** 新闻发布时间 */@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *ptime;/** 新闻内容 */@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *body;/** 新闻配图(希望这个数组中以后放HMNewsDetailImg模型) */@property (nonatomic, strong) NSArray *img;+ (instancetype)detailWithDict:(NSDictionary *)dict;@end.M文件#import "SXDetailModel.h"#import "SXDetailImgModel.h"@implementation SXDetailModel/** 便利构造器 */+ (instancetype)detailWithDict:(NSDictionary *)dict{  SXDetailModel *detail = [[self alloc]init];  detail.title = dict[@"title"];  detail.ptime = dict[@"ptime"];  detail.body = dict[@"body"];    NSArray *imgArray = dict[@"img"];  NSMutableArray *temArray = [NSMutableArray arrayWithCapacity:imgArray.count];    for (NSDictionary *dict in imgArray) {    SXDetailImgModel *imgModel = [SXDetailImgModel detailImgWithDict:dict];    [temArray addObject:imgModel];  }  detail.img = temArray;      return detail;}@end

图片信息实体.H文件:@interface SXDetailImgModel : NSObject@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *src;/** 图片尺寸 */@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *pixel;/** 图片所处的位置 */@property (nonatomic, copy) NSString *ref;+ (instancetype)detailImgWithDict:(NSDictionary *)dict;@end.M文件:@implementation SXDetailImgModel/** 便利构造器方法 */+ (instancetype)detailImgWithDict:(NSDictionary *)dict{  SXDetailImgModel *imgModel = [[self alloc]init];  imgModel.ref = dict[@"ref"];  imgModel.pixel = dict[@"pixel"];  imgModel.src = dict[@"src"];    return imgModel;}@end

 2:网络请求,并转化成实体对象

  NSString *url = [NSString stringWithFormat:@"http://c.m.163.com/nc/article/%@/full.html",self.newsModel.docid];  [[SXHTTPManager manager]GET:url parameters:nil success:^(AFHTTPRequestOperation *operation, id responseObject) {    self.detailModel = [SXDetailModel detailWithDict:responseObject[self.newsModel.docid]];    [self showInWebView];  } failure:^(AFHTTPRequestOperation *operation, NSError *error) {    NSLog(@"failure %@",error);  }];

其中[self showInWebView]就是下一步中拼接HTML源代码的内容,这边可以查看它的URL,以及回转回来的内容:

http://c.m.163.com/nc/article/B4A3HU9300963VRO/full.html

{"B4A3HU9300963VRO":{"body":"  中国日报网9月24日电(信莲)当地时间9月23日,第八届中美互联网论坛在美国西雅图召开,300多名中美互联网巨头齐聚一堂,共商网络空间合作与发展大计。当天下午,正在美国访问的来到会场会见中美互联网企业巨头,并发表了热情洋溢的讲话。<\/p>  称赞在场的互联网大佬是互联网界推动了技术革命、行业变革的领军人物、重量级人物。他强调,中国倡导建设和平、安全、开放、合作的网络空间,主张各国制定符合自身国情的互联网公共政策。中美都是网络大国,双方拥有重要共同利益和合作空间。双方理应在相互尊重、相互信任的基础上,就网络问题开展建设性对话,打造中美合作的亮点,让网络空间更好地造福两国人民和世界人民。<\/p>  此前,22日在西雅图市出席华盛顿州当地政府和美国友好团体联合举行的欢迎宴会并发表演讲时强调,中国是网络安全的坚定维护者,愿同美国建立两国共同打击网络犯罪高级别联合对话机制。<\/p>  连续就互联网阐述重要观点,受到参加中美互联网论坛的中美互联网巨头的高度关注。参加23日会见的巨头们在现场聆听了的讲话,反应更是强烈。<\/p>  脸谱创始人扎克伯格说,自己一直在读的著作,知道他今天所讲的与此前的思想都是一致的,那就是中国会坚定不移地对外开放;是一个很坚定的人,今天的讲话展现了一贯的立场和态度,也给美国的互联网企业以信心。<\/p>  扎克伯格随后在脸谱上发表感想:“能见到和其他官员是我莫大的荣幸。”<\/p>  阿里巴巴董事局主席马云表示,他从的讲话中体会最深的是真诚、信任、尊重和沟通;表达了沟通的重要性,中美之间需要相互信任和尊重,而沟通是实现目标的途径。<\/p>  英特尔CEO科再奇说,的讲话信号非常清晰,语言很朴实、也很亲切。他非常同意所说的,美国互联网企业把技术引入中国,就要遵守中国的法律法规,为中国消费者提供优质服务。科再奇觉得我们不应该互相指责,而应该开展合作,这样会让事情朝好的方向发展。<\/p>  新浪董事长兼CEO曹国伟称,自己从2007年以来已经连续8年参加中美互联网论坛,今年是参加人数最多、互联网大佬最全、规格最高的一次。主席同时兼任中央网络安全和信息化领导小组组长,他能亲临现场并会见企业界代表,显示出他对互联网行业的重视和高度关注。<\/p>  亚马逊总裁贝索斯坦言,今天习主席讲得非常好,强调要开放市场,推动双方企业平等进入,这体现了大国的风范。现在的关键是双方要拿出实际行动,共同推动所讲的原则和理念成为现实。<\/p>  浪潮集团董事长兼CEO孙丕恕对南都记者说,的讲话中让他感触最深的是,互联网企业很重要,不单影响着国家、社会,还包括每个人。尤其是现在的年轻人对互联网依赖很大,正因为大家都依赖互联网,互联网企业应该有很大的社会责任。<\/p>  奇虎360董事长周鸿祎则对南都记者表示,此次访美,在中美互联网论坛上会见了中美两国几乎所有的顶尖互联网公司、IT科技公司的领袖,这些企业代表了全球信息技术和互联网的发展方向,提高了两国人民的生活水平和工作效率,而且在万物互联、人工智能等方面也走在世界前列。<\/p>  周鸿祎说,有了网络就会有安全威胁,网络攻击、网络间谍等非法行为不分地域,随着互联网的进一步扩展会更加频繁。无论中国、美国还是其他国家,如果没有合作机制解决网络安全问题,那么大家都是受害者。希望借此机会在中美两国互联网公司之间建立一定的合作机制,这是非常好的契机。<\/p>  第八届中美互联网论坛的主题是“互信、互利、合作、共赢”。国家互联网信息办公室主任鲁炜到会发表了主旨演讲,他讲的“二人同舟”的故事给人留下深刻印象。多家中美互联网企业还举行了签约仪式,签署战略合作协议和合作备忘录。<\/p>  参加本届论坛的美国企业大佬包括微软公司CEO萨提亚、英特尔CEO科再奇、IBM董事长兼CEO罗睿兰、苹果CEO库克、高通CEO史蒂夫·莫伦科夫、脸谱创始人扎克伯格、领英创始人霍夫曼、亚马逊CEO贝佐斯、Airbnb联合创始人兼CEO切斯基、雅虎创始人杨致远等。<\/p>  中方参加者包括阿里巴巴马云、腾讯马化腾、百度张亚勤、京东刘强东、新浪曹国伟、搜狐张朝阳、联想杨元庆、奇虎360周鸿祎。此外,还有中国电子信息产业集团总经理刘烈宏、中国电子科技集团董事长熊群力、国内最大的高性能计算机研发与生产企业曙光公司总裁历军、宽带资本创始人兼董事长田溯宁、红杉资本全球执行合伙人沈南鹏、滴滴快的董事长兼CEO程维、浪潮集团董事长孙丕恕等。三大运营商也派出副总裁和副总经理级别高管参会。<\/p>","users":[],"replyCount":220,"ydbaike":[],"link":[],"votes":[],"img":[{"ref":"","pixel":"550*360","alt":"9月23日,在西雅图微软公司总部会见出席中美互联网论坛双方主要代表并发表讲话。(新华社记者 黄敬文 摄)","src":"http://img1.cache.netease.com/catchpic/8/86/86D2AE0452DC8BAFD4D021BD5C0A92B9.jpg"}],"digest":"","topiclist_news":[],"dkeys":"","topiclist":[],"docid":"B4A3HU9300963VRO","picnews":true,"title":"中美互联网巨头议讲话","tid":"","keyword_search":[{"word":"中美互联网"},{"word":""},{"word":"习主席"}],"template":"normal","threadVote":0,"threadAgainst":0,"boboList":[],"replyBoard":"3g_bbs","source":"中国日报网","hasNext":false,"voicecomment":"off","relative_sys":[{"id":"B49AI9Q100964KAF","title":"中美互联网论坛公司市值对比:美是中方4倍","source":"TechWeb今日焦点","imgsrc":"http://easyread.ph.126.net/TxZoDlibh5CVWrCC2r7yKQ==/8796093022267333422.jpg","type":"doc","ptime":"2015-09-24 10:51:04","href":""},{"id":"B49001EH900101EI","title":"网络巨头激辩O2O钱景:估值待修复 整合持续","source":"解放网","imgsrc":"http://easyread.ph.126.net/pCeLzQ17r0L2TE4TfxNqhQ==/7916537596058779911.jpg","type":"doc","ptime":"2015-09-24 08:06:23","href":""},{"id":"B33574KM900174KN","title":"创业者说:对于创业,这是最好的时代,还是最坏的时代?","source":"投资界","imgsrc":"http://easyread.ph.126.net/8BYU6vkLljFvYXQBBWQI5w==/7916594770663403213.jpg","type":"doc","ptime":"2015-09-09 14:38:00","href":""}],"apps":[],"ptime":"2015-09-24 18:42:47"}}

此时,我们很容易就对它回转过来的数据有一个大概的了解;

3:拼接HTML源代码

#pragma mark - ******************** 拼接html语言- (void)showInWebView{  NSMutableString *html = [NSMutableString string];  [html appendString:@"<html>"];  [html appendString:@"<head>"];  [html appendFormat:@"<link rel=\"stylesheet\" href=\"%@\">",[[NSBundle mainBundle] URLForResource:@"SXDetails.css" withExtension:nil]];  [html appendString:@"</head>"];    [html appendString:@"<body>"];  [html appendString:[self touchBody]];  [html appendString:@"</body>"];    [html appendString:@"</html>"];    [self.webView loadHTMLString:html baseURL:nil];}- (NSString *)touchBody{  NSMutableString *body = [NSMutableString string];  [body appendFormat:@"<div class=\"title\">%@</div>",self.detailModel.title];  [body appendFormat:@"<div class=\"time\">%@</div>",self.detailModel.ptime];  if (self.detailModel.body != nil) {    [body appendString:self.detailModel.body];  }  // 遍历img  for (SXDetailImgModel *detailImgModel in self.detailModel.img) {    NSMutableString *imgHtml = [NSMutableString string];    // 设置img的div  [imgHtml appendString:@"<div class=\"img-parent\">"];    // 数组存放被切割的像素    NSArray *pixel = [detailImgModel.pixel componentsSeparatedByString:@"*"];    CGFloat width = [[pixel firstObject]floatValue];    CGFloat height = [[pixel lastObject]floatValue];  // 判断是否超过最大宽度    CGFloat maxWidth = [UIScreen mainScreen].bounds.size.width * 0.96;    if (width > maxWidth) {      height = maxWidth / width * height;      width = maxWidth;    }        NSString *onload = @"this.onclick = function() {"              " window.location.href = 'sx:src=' +this.src;"                  "};";    [imgHtml appendFormat:@"<img onload=\"%@\" width=\"%f\" height=\"%f\" src=\"%@\">",onload,width,height,detailImgModel.src];  // 结束标记  [imgHtml appendString:@"</div>"];  // 替换标记    [body replaceOccurrencesOfString:detailImgModel.ref withString:imgHtml options:NSCaseInsensitiveSearch range:NSMakeRange(0, body.length)];  }  return body;}

这边注意有个是去读项目中已经写好的CSS文件,来定义新闻页在手机端的显示样式;图片也增加相应的点击事件,为后面WebView做通信,把拼接好的HTML直接展示在webView里;此处还对图片的大小进行比较跟处理;并在图片的位置进行替换标记;

SXDetails.css样式内容:.title {  text-align:left;  font-size:25px;  font-weight:bold;  color:black;  margin-left:10px;}.time {  text-align:left;  font-size:15px;  color:gray;  margin-top:7px;  margin-bottom:7px;  margin-left:10px;  }.img-parent {  text-align:center;  margin-bottom:10px;}

 4:关于WebView与网页进行交互,并把图片保存到手机相册中

#pragma mark - ******************** 将发出通知时调用- (BOOL)webView:(UIWebView *)webView shouldStartLoadWithRequest:(NSURLRequest *)request navigationType:(UIWebViewNavigationType)navigationType{  NSString *url = request.URL.absoluteString;  NSRange range = [url rangeOfString:@"sx:src="];  if (range.location != NSNotFound) {    NSInteger begin = range.location + range.length;    NSString *src = [url substringFromIndex:begin];    [self savePictureToAlbum:src];    return NO;  }  return YES;}#pragma mark - ******************** 保存到相册方法- (void)savePictureToAlbum:(NSString *)src{  UIAlertController *alert = [UIAlertController alertControllerWithTitle:@"提示" message:@"确定要保存到相册吗?" preferredStyle:UIAlertControllerStyleActionSheet];    [alert addAction:[UIAlertAction actionWithTitle:@"取消" style:UIAlertActionStyleCancel handler:nil]];  [alert addAction:[UIAlertAction actionWithTitle:@"确定" style:UIAlertActionStyleDestructive handler:^(UIAlertAction *action) {        NSURLCache *cache =[NSURLCache sharedURLCache];    NSURLRequest *request = [NSURLRequest requestWithURL:[NSURL URLWithString:src]];    NSData *imgData = [cache cachedResponseForRequest:request].data;    UIImage *image = [UIImage imageWithData:imgData];    UIImageWriteToSavedPhotosAlbum(image, nil, nil, nil);      }]];      [self presentViewController:alert animated:YES completion:nil];}

注意关于webView协议<UIWebViewDelegate>的self.webView.delegate = self  

5:拼接后的HTML内容如下:

<html><head><link rel="stylesheet" href="file:///Users/wujunyang/Library/Developer/CoreSimulator/Devices/C99C0226-EDEB-43D6-A6BC-A2C213049F33/data/Containers/Bundle/Application/68E1C648-BB8C-4CBD-9891-17F1D5DB1379/81%20-%20%E7%BD%91%E6%98%93%E6%96%B0%E9%97%BB.app/SXDetails.css"></head><body><div class="title">中美互联网巨头议讲话</div><div class="time">2015-09-24 18:42:47</div><div class="img-parent"><img onload="this.onclick = function() { window.location.href = 'sx:src=' +this.src;};" width="397.440000" height="260.142545" src="http://img1.cache.netease.com/catchpic/8/86/86D2AE0452DC8BAFD4D021BD5C0A92B9.jpg"></div><p>  中国日报网9月24日电(信莲)当地时间9月23日,第八届中美互联网论坛在美国西雅图召开,300多名中美互联网巨头齐聚一堂,共商网络空间合作与发展大计。当天下午,正在美国访问的来到会场会见中美互联网企业巨头,并发表了热情洋溢的讲话。</p><p>  称赞在场的互联网大佬是互联网界推动了技术革命、行业变革的领军人物、重量级人物。他强调,中国倡导建设和平、安全、开放、合作的网络空间,主张各国制定符合自身国情的互联网公共政策。中美都是网络大国,双方拥有重要共同利益和合作空间。双方理应在相互尊重、相互信任的基础上,就网络问题开展建设性对话,打造中美合作的亮点,让网络空间更好地造福两国人民和世界人民。</p><p>  此前,22日在西雅图市出席华盛顿州当地政府和美国友好团体联合举行的欢迎宴会并发表演讲时强调,中国是网络安全的坚定维护者,愿同美国建立两国共同打击网络犯罪高级别联合对话机制。</p><p>  连续就互联网阐述重要观点,受到参加中美互联网论坛的中美互联网巨头的高度关注。参加23日会见的巨头们在现场聆听了的讲话,反应更是强烈。</p><p>  脸谱创始人扎克伯格说,自己一直在读的著作,知道他今天所讲的与此前的思想都是一致的,那就是中国会坚定不移地对外开放;习主席是一个很坚定的人,今天的讲话展现了一贯的立场和态度,也给美国的互联网企业以信心。</p><p>  扎克伯格随后在脸谱上发表感想:“能见到主席和其他官员是我莫大的荣幸。”</p><p>  阿里巴巴董事局主席马云表示,他从的讲话中体会最深的是真诚、信任、尊重和沟通;表达了沟通的重要性,中美之间需要相互信任和尊重,而沟通是实现目标的途径。</p><p>  英特尔CEO科再奇说,的讲话信号非常清晰,语言很朴实、也很亲切。他非常同意习主席所说的,美国互联网企业把技术引入中国,就要遵守中国的法律法规,为中国消费者提供优质服务。科再奇觉得我们不应该互相指责,而应该开展合作,这样会让事情朝好的方向发展。</p><p>  新浪董事长兼CEO曹国伟称,自己从2007年以来已经连续8年参加中美互联网论坛,今年是参加人数最多、互联网大佬最全、规格最高的一次。同时兼任中央网络安全和信息化领导小组组长,他能亲临现场并会见企业界代表,显示出他对互联网行业的重视和高度关注。</p><p>  亚马逊总裁贝索斯坦言,今天讲得非常好,强调要开放市场,推动双方企业平等进入,这体现了大国的风范。现在的关键是双方要拿出实际行动,共同推动所讲的原则和理念成为现实。</p><p>  浪潮集团董事长兼CEO孙丕恕对南都记者说,的讲话中让他感触最深的是,互联网企业很重要,不单影响着国家、社会,还包括每个人。尤其是现在的年轻人对互联网依赖很大,正因为大家都依赖互联网,互联网企业应该有很大的社会责任。</p><p>  奇虎360董事长周鸿祎则对南都记者表示此次访美,在中美互联网论坛上会见了中美两国几乎所有的顶尖互联网公司、IT科技公司的领袖,这些企业代表了全球信息技术和互联网的发展方向,提高了两国人民的生活水平和工作效率,而且在万物互联、人工智能等方面也走在世界前列。</p><p>  周鸿祎说,有了网络就会有安全威胁,网络攻击、网络间谍等非法行为不分地域,随着互联网的进一步扩展会更加频繁。无论中国、美国还是其他国家,如果没有合作机制解决网络安全问题,那么大家都是受害者。希望借此机会在中美两国互联网公司之间建立一定的合作机制,这是非常好的契机。</p><p>  第八届中美互联网论坛的主题是“互信、互利、合作、共赢”。国家互联网信息办公室主任鲁炜到会发表了主旨演讲,他讲的“二人同舟”的故事给人留下深刻印象。多家中美互联网企业还举行了签约仪式,签署战略合作协议和合作备忘录。</p><p>  参加本届论坛的美国企业大佬包括微软公司CEO萨提亚、英特尔CEO科再奇、IBM董事长兼CEO罗睿兰、苹果CEO库克、高通CEO史蒂夫·莫伦科夫、脸谱创始人扎克伯格、领英创始人霍夫曼、亚马逊CEO贝佐斯、Airbnb联合创始人兼CEO切斯基、雅虎创始人杨致远等。</p><p>  中方参加者包括阿里巴巴马云、腾讯马化腾、百度张亚勤、京东刘强东、新浪曹国伟、搜狐张朝阳、联想杨元庆、奇虎360周鸿祎。此外,还有中国电子信息产业集团总经理刘烈宏、中国电子科技集团董事长熊群力、国内最大的高性能计算机研发与生产企业曙光公司总裁历军、宽带资本创始人兼董事长田溯宁、红杉资本全球执行合伙人沈南鹏、滴滴快的董事长兼CEO程维、浪潮集团董事长孙丕恕等。三大运营商也派出副总裁和副总经理级别高管参会。</p></body></html>

 6:效果图中另外一张有比较多的图片源文件如下:

  请求地址:http://c.m.163.com/nc/article/B4A39DDB00964LQ9/full.html 

{"B4A39DDB00964LQ9":{"body":"  给你们讲一个恐怖的故事:听说从今天开始2015年只剩下100天了!<\/p>  2015年快过去了,年初定下的目标都达成了吗?时间总是不知不觉匆匆地过去,不留下一丝痕迹。<\/p>  俗语有云:生命很短,我们真的没必要浪费在安全地拔出USB上。<\/p>  感冒了去看医生,医生给了我一把杀猪刀,我问这是什么意思,医生说:时间是把杀猪刀,时间可以治愈一切,所以杀猪刀可以治愈一切。(银教授)<\/p>  说起来,还有几天就中秋节了,今年我觉得特别的奇怪,因为居然没有人吐槽五仁月饼了。<\/p>  没错,五仁月饼这个梗估计已经慢慢淡出了大家的脑海,取而代之的是。。。<\/p>  其实人也是一样的,如果我们自己不留下点纪录,别人就会像忘记五仁月饼那样忘记了你,然后慢慢爱上了老干妈月饼。<\/p>  在今时今日,要留下岁月痕迹的方法还是相对简单的——拿起手机,拍张自拍。<\/p>  我拥有特殊的拍全家福方式。<\/p>  巴基斯坦推特用户发布的印度军队在卡吉尔战争时的照片,箭头指向了奇怪的东东。(肖宁)<\/p>  听说流量不清零了,小编也表示要有所行动!<\/p>  想一起(帮小编)自拍吗?快来应聘小编实习生!<\/p>  子曰:“人往往生于忧患,而死于自拍。”<\/p>  据统计,2015年至今,自拍造成的死亡人数已经超过了鲨鱼袭击,一共12起。其中,4起是由于自拍时摔倒。其他还包括,自拍时被汽车或火车撞到,爬上危险设施拍照等。<\/p>  (PK投票:你经常自拍吗?)<\/p>  <\/p>  自拍猛于鲨!死了都要拍!<\/p>  其实,死于鲨鱼袭击的那几个案例里,有几宗都是“潜水时和鲨鱼自拍被咬死”;只是因为统计方便,没有算在了自拍致死里面。<\/p>  如果加上看到太丑的自拍导致恶心致死的,估计死伤者可能是成千上万。<\/p>  这是你发在网上的自拍,和你实际的颜。<\/p>  重庆一男子见女网友嫌其丑,怒称女子与照片差别大,结果被对方扇耳光,两人动起手来打架。<\/p>  热心市民前来调停:关了灯都一样,你们执着什么呢?!<\/p>  自己约的炮,含着眼泪也要打完!<\/p>  每当看到电视上女主角说:“你得到的只是我的肉体,得不到我的灵魂”我内心都回一句:“老纸要的就是肉体!!”<\/p>  志玲啊,是你照相机坏了吗?<\/p>  日前,台湾女星林志玲网上晒照,其事业线竟然“消失”了,网友纷纷好奇地问:胸呢?<\/p>  联想起冰冰早前的照片,我不由得打了个冷颤。<\/p>  难道,女人的胸,也像男人的那啥一样,也会伸缩变大变小?!<\/p>  眼见不一定是真实,要摸过才知道。作为新闻从业员的胖编表示一定要去寻找真相。<\/p>  但话说回来,随着拍照手机的普及,我们也真的渐渐失去了用双眼感受宝贵瞬间的能力了。<\/p>  【怒刷存在感】<\/p>  最近,有很多人选择了用拜年的方式来刷存在感。<\/p>  有的人很不喜欢拍照和写日记这种事,我觉得他们很笨,万一有一天你突然死了,这世界上就会没有你存在过的痕迹。<\/p>  统计表明,很多男人懒到都不自己动手撸,而是在地板上钻一个洞,然后把丁丁放进去,等待地震的到来。<\/p>  老婆站在沙滩上,在老公面前不停地搔首弄姿。“怎么样?”她说,“我减掉了一斤,你能看出我和以前有什么区别吗?”老公捡起一块小石头扔进大海,然后说:“海滩上少了一块石头,你能看出有什么区别吗?”<\/p>  存在感对于一个人有多重要,从半壁音帝汪峰的一生就可以略知一二。<\/p>  音帝又上头条了!近日,有网友爆料,汪峰在洛杉矶赌场现身玩牌,身边未见章子怡陪伴。<\/p>  汪峰深情地问:你的梦想是——赌多大?<\/p>  做偷鸡摸狗之事的人往往是不想留下纪录的,但时代变了,现在的小偷,也很明白存在感这个道理。<\/p>  西安一名小偷偷了路边停车的后视镜后竟然大胆地留下了字条:“您的倒车镜在我这,加QQ……”而更奇葩的是,在这个小偷字条之下,还有一张字条:“贼已抓到、速到派出所来”字条最后面还留着派出所的电话,以及办案警官的名字。<\/p>  哎,现在的小偷都与时俱进,学习互联网思维,开始讲求互动了。以后我们能不能给小偷打好评差评啊?<\/p>  比光明正大贴纸条的小偷更奇葩的,还有这位光天化日性侵的大叔。<\/p>  英国最近发生了一连串令人匪夷所思的性侵案件,一名46岁男子强森因为“性侵”一个公园的“滑梯”而遭到警方逮捕;警方表示,这已经不是强森第一次侵犯溜滑梯,现在,他已经被禁止进入任何有滑梯的公园。<\/p>  对,我说的真的就是那种游乐场的滑梯!警方说,每次发现强森在作案,他都是在滑梯上脱得一丝不挂。<\/p>  好可怜的单身狗,弱问一句:滑梯这么宽的坑道,真的有快感吗?<\/p>  “日了狗”原来还不是最猛的,现在要说“我日了滑梯”!<\/p>  和小姨子在看电视,突然那些乱来的剧情,我生气的说:俗话说兔子不吃窝边草,这人怎么。小姨娇滴滴望着我打断说:可草不这么想呀,谁吃还不是吃,还不如让脸熟的吃,你说是吧姐夫?<\/p>  小偷和强奸犯都不再是“神出鬼没”,因为鬼怪也开始现形了。<\/p>  胖编做了这么久《胖编怪谈》,我甚至觉得,现在连妖魔鬼怪都要争抢着“出镜”来留下点阳间的纪录。<\/p>  最近,杭州一对夫妇在午夜开车时撞见了不明物体,记录仪更拍下了诡异画面。这对的夫妇第一反应,这“物体”是碰瓷。<\/p>  小伙子,放心啦,我保证这肯定不是碰瓷,你一定是见到鬼了。<\/p>  十字路口,东边来的大爷和南边来的大爷各骑一自行车相遇了。在两车只差0.0001KM就要相撞的一刹那。两个大爷都死死地捏住了左右刹车,脚不沾地的骑在车上。3秒钟之后,双双倒地。有旁观者散出消息:这是一场碰瓷党的同门切磋!<\/p>  欢迎接下来收看《走进科学》之马路上的怪人——是鬼是人,撞过去不就知道了吗?<\/p>  这哥们不是鬼怪,他是大神!他告诉我们一个道理,低调淡定往往是刷存在感的最好方式。<\/p>  一段网上视频拍摄了一位小贩摊主与城管发生冲突互殴的情形,而现场一位男子竟然全程淡定地坐着吃面!<\/p>  自己花钱买的面,含着泪抖着腿也要吃完!<\/p>  啊!我只是一个不明真相的吃面群众。<\/p>  看到他的淡定,我心感佩服,对于这淡定哥,我只想问一句:你吃完面付钱了吗!<\/p>  又病了,好像是急肠胃炎,跟爹说我上吐下泻了一整晚。他做出严肃而惊讶的表情问:多大的碗?(两色风景嘎)<\/p>  当然,要刷存在感,我们也要有所为,有所不为。<\/p>  做这样没公德的事,你是留下了纪录,但也没有了做人的意义。<\/p>  重庆网友爆料,一名女子坐地铁连嗑瓜子12站,瓜子壳也扔在车厢一地。<\/p>  哎,这妹子穿的这么光鲜,真的不像个脑残啊。<\/p>  妹子表示:如果不吃瓜子解闷,我的急性短暂性精神病就要发作了!<\/p>  但话说回来,拍照的网友说“12站”是怎么数出来的?为什么没有数出嗑了多少粒瓜子?<\/p>  至于金华这位酒店保洁工,因为拿了2张工作单位厕所手纸而被公示因偷盗开除,此事引起了巨大争议。<\/p>  (PK投票:你觉得她该罚吗?)<\/p>  <\/p>  胖编觉得,便宜还是莫贪吧,做个光明磊落的人,才能够留下光光鲜鲜的做人纪录。<\/p>  学学这位小伙吧!我相信他以后的人生,会活得很有存在感。<\/p>  美国一名男子周末休假在家时订了外送披萨和鸡翅,没想到送来的却是1300元美金(约合人民币8288元)。他最终选择将钱还回去;而此举获得店家大力的赞许,并以“一年份的免费披萨”作为回报。<\/p>  银行也开始送外卖了吗?<\/p>  “喂,你好,麻烦我要一份人民币!不要辣,要多点香菜!”<\/p>  领导说:有啥奇怪的,每年中秋节收到的月饼盒里也有现金呢!<\/p>  故天将降大任于斯人也,必先苦其心志,劳其筋骨,饿其体肤,空乏其身,行拂乱其所为...然后老天说:“不好意思认错人了。”<\/p>  俗语说,人怕出名猪怕壮,可是现在的猪,要留下名声,已经不靠“壮”了。<\/p>  汶川地震中奇迹般存活了38天的“猪坚强”,它的后代成为了宠物猪了,估计身价过万。<\/p>  尼玛啊,这年头连猪都拼爹!你说论身材论体型,我胖编有什么比不上这猪二代?<\/p>  话说,啥时候评选一个“感动咱们的十大动物”?<\/p>  一民宅失火,消防队到场后听见屋内传来“救命!”“失火了!”的求救声,赶紧冲了进去,结果发现里面空无一人,喊救命的是两只鹦鹉,于是就把鹦鹉们救出来吸氧,状况良好。所以说,会一门外语真是太特么重要了!<\/p>  猪命也能比人命还贵,确实很讽刺。我不禁问自己:普通人还有啥意义?<\/p>  【存在的意义】<\/p>  别以为胖编在故弄玄虚谈一些高深的哲学问题,其实很多道理,在日常生活和新闻中都能有所领悟。<\/p>  有的人,他们的存在意义,是努力地突破理想。<\/p>  日本京都105岁老人宫崎秀吉100米跑最年长的参与者的世界纪录,他在创纪录后做出了博尔特的经典动作。<\/p>  这才是真正的“世界纪录”!<\/p>  有的人,他们的存在意义,是做回自我。<\/p>  在广州举行的一场选美比赛上,曾荣获全国道德模范称号、成功接受变性手术的刘婷(术前名为刘霆)参赛,并获得大奖。接受变性手术后参赛选美,刘婷成为全国的第一人。<\/p>  对于刘婷,无论你喜不喜欢他的变性形象,但他确实是当今中国最勇敢做回自己的人之一。<\/p>  这位国外的轮椅小妹,她也表示:无论是怎样的残疾,也不会阻碍她去做她喜欢的事。<\/p>  最重要的是,我们都不应该留下遗憾。<\/p>  真正有意义的活着,大约有点像太湖底下捞起的石头,是洗净尘泥后的硬瘦剔透,上面还附着一生岁月所冲积洗刷出的浪痕。<\/p>  中秋节前胖编的最后一期,求大家用力打赏,我才能吃得起老干妈月饼!<\/p>  <\/p>  【轻松一刻以物换物第一轮】<\/p>  主编的裙子,有谁想拿走吗?<\/p>  猛截传送门:轻松一刻上头条<\/p>  【轻松一刻智商测试(第八期)】<\/p>  你得急性短暂性精神病了吗?快进来测一下!智商不足的自然得病也容易啦!<\/p>  每周更新,敬请期待!(多玩几次更准确哦!)<\/p>  请猛戳:<\/p>  <\/p>  装逼不是应该打120吗?打110有什么用。<\/p>  有反转的才叫结局。看开头就知道结尾的那是美国电影。<\/p>  楼下的人太多了,已略。<\/p>  下面这些英文名对应的是武侠小说中的哪个人物?知道的来捧个道场。<\/p>  上期答案:开放性问题,吃翔狗最长,那我们就让他上吧。<\/p>  他们是在解锁什么姿势?<\/p>  上期吐槽大PK!<\/p>  你觉得谁的吐槽逗乐了你呢?<\/p>  <\/p>  熟悉的老课文,远去的童年时光,你还记得这些图片吗?<\/p>  月光曲<\/p>  贝多芬走近茅屋,琴声突然停了,屋子里有人在谈话。 师生情一个姑娘说∶“这首曲子多难弹啊!我只听别人弹过几遍,总是记不住该怎样弹,要是能听一听贝多芬自己是怎样弹的,那有多好啊!”一个男的说∶“是啊,可是音乐会的入场券太贵了,咱们又太穷。”<\/p>  我的弟弟小萝卜头儿<\/p>  宋振中八个月的时候,被带进了监狱。由于终年住在阴暗、潮湿的牢房里,吃的是发霉发臭的米饭,长到八九岁时,个头却只有四五岁孩子那么高,成了一个大头细身子、面黄肌瘦的孩子,难友们都疼爱地叫他“小萝卜头”。多么悲惨啊!<\/p>  珍贵的教科书<\/p>  我扑到指导员身上大声喊:“指导员......”喊了好半天,指导员嘴里叨念着:“书......书......”我说:“书都在这儿。走,我背你回村。”他轻轻地摇了摇头,两眼望着那捆书,用微弱的声音说:“你们要......好好学习......将来......”<\/p>  最后附赠一张闰土<\/p>  三张小学语文课本插图,你印象最深刻的是哪一张呢?<\/p>  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